Valentine's Snowday

 The first real snow in Seattle was pure magic.

Growing up in the midwest, we enjoyed the snow, but it was an infrequent occurrence when the whole community all went outside to play in the snow on the same day.

Snow in Seattle brought everyone outside

The cafes were busy with takeout orders, fire pits were on sidewalks across the city.

Valentines decorations looked enchanting under the fresh snow

Skiing on the streets, sledding down every hill, snowshoeing across the parks and a few snowboarders creating jumps on driveways.

As I continue to explore my new city today, I ventured along the snow-covered streets up Phinny Ridge and around Green Lake embracing the winter excitement.  

2021 Donation Guide

My favorite tradition of the new year and thinking about how we want to make philanthropic decisions for the next year.

Last year, the donations at the start of the year was an incredibly good idea. I had made a resolution that I would learn more about water in 2020. In a year that had so many priorities and challenges the urgency of climate and water challenges often fell to the side. Due to our January donations and my new found time to read books I ended 2020 having accomplished my goals. I had helped keep climate action groups going and I personally had learned more about water.

See our 2020 Donation Post here: https://surrealvolunteering.blogspot.com/2020/01/2020-donation-guide.html  

This year we had long conversations about what we wanted to do this year. We quickly agreed that we wanted to support BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and women. 

Starting with the traditional charity idea, I did some reading and had a few important takeaways.

- Equity, thinking about how our modest donations could help tip the scales towards greater equity.

- Due to historic inequities in funding, voices (ideas, stories, businesses, inventions) from BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and women have not had an equitable chance. 

- The donor designation dynamic has created limitations.

- The need to not only create direct charity programs but to go deeper, thinking root cause and how to support that. Is it advocacy, education, employment, wealth creation?

Reflecting on this, I started to think about small investments in startups. Finding startup founders who identified as BIPOC, LGBTQ+, or female. Explored a few apps (Republic & WeFunder), both had a good selection of businesses. The drawback came down to that these would be donations that we would potentially be engaged with for many years, any startup that got off the ground, we would be an early investor of. This multi-year management was not for us at this time.

I pivoted to exploring Donors Choose, looking at classroom funding. How to invest in the education of BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and girls.  I have used this platform in past years for donating and genuinely enjoyed the experience. I came across some great projects, that helped me understand that this year I actually want to donate to BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and women businesses/creations.  (Classic example of donors' feelings above anything else being the driver for donations).

So tonight we landed on Kickstarter as the platform for this year's donations. We each had an equal dollar amount and with the guidelines of BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and women we started searching. The goal here was not to fund things that we wanted or thought would be successful. Not to judge if the proposal or plan was good. Only to find ideas lead by BIPOC, LGBTQ+, or women, where they are who we are supporting. 

We ended with a HUGE array of ideas that we backed.

Shop Sugar Clothing https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kieshab/shop-sugar-expanding

Valleto Dance https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/valleto2020/valleto-2020-performance-and-beyond

Rofhiwa Book Store https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2025896590/rofhiwa-book-cafe-a-book-and-coffee-spot-for-east-durham  

Antarktikos Magazine https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/antarktikos/antarktikos-magazine

Aseda - Artist & Musician https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/wmwio/wake-me-when-its-over-an-ep-by-aseda-safoa 

Urban Dreams, Music and Art program https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/key2dakingdom/give-us-the-steam-to-power-our-dream

Sam - Comic Artist https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mushki/mixed-0

Jank - Debut Album https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/janksetup/jank-setup-debut-album-look-whos-talking

Krafty Kravings Cookie Company https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kraftykravings/krafty-kravings

LGBT Cat Pins https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/faeryphos/lgbt-cat-enamel-pins

Black-Owned Radio Station https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/247blackradio/rhode-islands-black-owned-radio-station

Alma Ocean Kiddy Pools https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/almaocean/alma-ocean?ref=discovery&term=pool

A bunny sweatshirt https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/xpinkwolfy/x-bunny-oversized-jacket?ref=discovery&term=sweatshirts

A diverse writer residency https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/therealauthorfactory/author-factory-a-writing-oasis-for-diverse-writers

A solar charging system https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1398120161/solar-cow-school-teleporter?ref=discovery&term=solar%20cow 

I continue to volunteer a few hours each month with the Red Cross and we have recently begun to explore other volunteer opportunities in the area, hope to add additional organizations to our volunteering list this year.

As in years past the goal of sharing these is to help shine additional light into the work being done and to hopefully encourage you to make a positive impact as part of your plan for 2021. 

Virtual Family Scavenger Hunt

Our family, like many, have tried several Family Zoom calls to help create connections during our physical distancing due to COVID.

They have been ok, I personally, am glad we keep trying but have found them less than I would hope. The three things I have noticed are:

1. Its a lot of people (11, including 2 kids under 5). 

2. The conversations don't flow super well (A side effect of the group call).

3. It is hard for everyone to be engaged.

One of my brothers and I started to brainstorm on something fun or different to try. The result was a virtual family scavenger hunt.

I built a quick PowerPoint deck to lay out the idea & then shared the slides with everyone. We allowed for 15 days from launch to zoom call, that way each household could do the hunting on their own time.

Giving back is something that is incredibly important to me, so added in that those who did not complete the hunt would donate to the Seattle Homeless Outreach.

I created a scavenger hunt list that had a COVID life flair & combined riddle clues and some that were just things to find.

Over the next few weeks, everyone e-mailed the pictures to me and I created a PowerPoint slide deck with the submissions

The Sunday after we wrapped up the scavenger hunt we had a family zoom call where I shared the PowerPoint slides.

Albeit with some minor technical difficulties, it was a fun way to guide the conversation, kept people engaged, and gave a logical chance for everyone to be part of the conversation.

It was a success and has opened up the possibilities of trying more things other than just chatting via Zoom as we continue to navigate staying home and staying safe.

On the cusp of change.

Reflections are written and delayed posting not a reflection of current status, but a window into a past moment.

Five months ago I began exploring my next step. Three weeks ago we decided to prioritize our health, lifestyle, and location.  I decided I would give my notice. This weekend I wrote it.


I am taking a huge leap, one I have not done in over a decade. I am jumping into the world not sure what I will find.

I am not sure what I will do.

I am not sure I know how I will fill my time.

I am not sure the person I am outside of my work self.

I am roller-coaster through emotions, at least 3-4 times a day.

I know that this is the right choice.

I know the journey is.

9 days at a National Park during COVID19

Due to a once in a lifetime opportunity, Ian and I had a 9-day window before either of us start our new jobs and when we had no appointments or obligations. After much discussion, we decided to take this opportunity to go on a much dreamed about trip to Yellowstone National Park. The challenge was how to do this during COVID 19.

We had significant conversations on if this was the right thing to do with the rapid spreading of COVID.  One of the questions we have started to ask ourselves as we are navigating is what is the opportunity/ benefit to doing this and is there an alternate option available? We determined that a 9-day window to go to Yellowstone in the Summer might not present itself to us for another decade and that we would work to make choices that were COVID thoughtful during our trip.

We were far from perfect, overall our trip score was 6.2, on a 1 - 10 scale where 10 is the most COVID safe you can be.

How we decided to score:

Some of the scorings are our best estimate. We did not give ourselves any additional points for repeating places that we visited, times that we selected to have only one of us go into a place, or provide any scoring based on the length of time two things that studies are showing can impact the risks with COVID.

Not fully captured here is how often we selected not to do things because there were just too many people. Many of the iconic Yellowstone places we skipped and many of the fun tourist shops and activities we drove past knowing they would be a higher risk level than we wanted to take.



Here is the day by day, activity by activity break down.

We ended up being more COVID safe than I think we expected, but still under a level that I would recommend or suggest. If you're considering a trip similar to this a few areas that I think would have increased the score.

• Groceries, snacks, and ice - more thoughtful meal planning could have prevented us from going into stores as often as we did.
• Skip activities that have a busy parking area - these brought our scores down on many otherwise fairly safe activities.
• Skip anything where you have to go inside. Without a statewide mask mandate we were often around many people without masks and inside this really increased our risk.

The real question is did we get sick from this trip? We have been home for 8 days now and neither of us has developed any symptoms. This does not show that we did not get it and are nonsymptomatic carriers or that we won't still develop symptoms over the next week. We have opted to not go out with friends this weekend as a mild self-quarantine after our trip. 

How to fly safer during COVID19

I used to fly 2-3 times a week pre COVID. Post COVID I have made 3 trips by air since in May/ June 2020 and based on my COVID tests did so successfully. 

Two of my flights were with SouthWest and one with American.

If you have an option, pick SouthWest. They did a much better job than any other airline I saw. SouthWest was only selling 2/3 of the planes making extra room everywhere, extra room in the gate, extra room in the bathrooms, extra room in the airport shops, extra room at baggage claim, and very important extra room on the plane.

American was selling 9/10th of the seats, the empty seats were the very last row and in first class. The result was that everything was tighter, I don't think I was ever able to be 6ft away from another person during my flying experience. 

Overall the 5 different US airports I visited were cleaner than before COVID. I wore a mask and was only asked to pull it down briefly when going through TSA security, other than that I was able to leave it on my whole trip.

Airports and Airlines have changing rules on mask-wearing by passengers, I recommend you look at these before making any plans. Denver had a $500 fine for anyone in the airport not wearing a maks, SouthWest required passengers to wear masks on flights. American was encouraging but not requiring.

On all three of my flights, the in-flight services (snacks and drinks) were greatly reduced, with no options. I did get water and a small bag of snacks on all the flights, the distribution varied each time.

I made some additions to my typical flying behavior due to COVID.

- I had a mask just for the airport/ on the plane. As soon as I exited the airport I switched to a fresh mask and put the used one in a plastic container to be disinfected at a later date.

- I brought my own disinfecting wipes (could not find them at the store so made some at home). I used these diligently, wiping every seat and surface that I was going to use, both in the airport and on the plane.

- My own hand sanitizer that I used after I touched anything. Expect to use about half a small bottle on a domestic trip.

- Expect things within the airport to be closed. Having a water bottle and some snacks with you can help eliminate the stress of the kiosk being closed.

I am not planning on flying again until November and I hope that we will see more safety measures in place on my next trip.

discovering the way that I can be the best version of myself

Reflections are written and delayed posting not a reflection of current status, but a window into a past moment.

My tendency towards an unreserved highly passionate approach has a tendency to lead me to careers that consume me.

Over a decade ago one such career crashed and exploded around me in a way that at the time felt like the only option. It took me over two months to recover from that job and in the decade since I have been learning about how to care for myself; while allowing my high passion to continue.

Learning self-care was not instant and is far from over but I have made progress, and that commitment to continued learning is one of the habits leading to my highly passionate approach to discovering the way that I can be the best version of myself.

Things I need to reset:

- Unhindered sleep - no worries about not sleeping, sleeping too much or messing up my sleep schedule

- Quiet time

- Nothing

- Time with my spouse

- A clean house

- A bit of excitement, doing something like trying a new restaurant, going to a new part of town or a visit to the local movie theater

- Some basic exercise light yoga or a short walk

- Netflix and chill

- Going to the doctor and taking the time to focus on my health


With this reset, my balanced self begins to emerge. I know that version of me is arriving when I start to have, interest in reading, crafts, socializing, more intensive exercise, and somewhere in there a desire to create, express, learn, grow, expand and achieve.

Over the past few years, I haven't had enough of post-reset time to truly live as my balanced self.  It has been exciting to be so fully immersed, I thrived under the high demands, my highly passionate approach was thriving. Things began to change. I found that I crave the more balanced version of myself and started to actively exploring how to pull away from the constant demands just enough to give me more recovery time. I committed to going to the doctor and taking the time to focus on my health and have made the appointments. I have been taking PTO, not for any specific reason but because it is important to give me the rest. I am check-in in on myself to ensure I am resetting. I am tracking how long its been since I engaged in things I love like reading and creating. I am learning more about who I am and what I need.

The first 30 days

At 35, I realized after 10 years of successful non-profit career advancement I needed to make some changes.

I needed to live in a place that met my needs for activities, social, and family. I needed to take some time to focus on wellness. I needed to explore working, as important, but with other things also being important. This was an incredibly difficult and uncomfortable decision. It felt like jumping off a cliff. I was fortunate to have a spouse that fully emotionally stood by me during this process and, that I have been able to build savings to give me the time that I needed.

When I realized that the system that I have loved is not the system that I need for this next part of my journey happened in what has been the most complicated year of my life in the USA. You will see reference to some, but far from all, of the major defining events going on during this metaphorical jumping off a cliff.



The first 30 days after I left my job, I knew would move by quickly and I wanted to be sure to capture at least one item that I did each day.

Overarching goals during this time:
- Pay close attention to all doctor appointments/ instructions - I have put these off for too long and want to change that habit
- Exercise, stretch and possibly yoga
- Improve my Excel skills
- Read a few books
- Move to Washington
- Begin job hunting
- Connect with more of my friends/ family within social distance guidelines



Day 1
Cleaning

Day 2
Netflix

Day 3
Packed

Day 4
Doctors appointment

Day 5
Flew to Seattle
Explored Lacey Washington

Day 6
Job searching

Day 7
Met with the property manager for the new apartment
Hiked Green Mountain with my brother

Day 8
Lazy socially distance AM breakfast with friends in Seattle
Flew back to Texas

Day 9
Outdoor brunch with friends who flew in from Dallas

Day 10
Packed

Day 11
Protested the murder of George Floyd
Went to San Antonio to say goodbye (no hugs 😞) to family/ pick up some yard art

Day 12
Went through two boxes of childhood memorabilia and reduced them to one box

Day 13
COVID 19 test
Finished book, "Stay Alive my Son"

Day 14
Kahn Academy - Excel

Day 15
Hair Cut (Texas is open at the moment)
Started book "Bright Flows the River"

Day 16
Phone calls with family

Day 17
Day surgery (remember those doctors appointments that I have put off)

Day 18
Recovery day
Listening to The Andromeda Strain on Audible

Day 19
Second recovery day
Started the process of address changes for the move

Day 20
Addresses changes done
Finished Andromeda strain

Day 21
Gave all of our remaining food to some in-town family and said goodbye from 6 feet apart with masks on (so unnatural)
Begun listening to the Audible "Deep"

Day 22
Movers loaded up all of our townhouse and we cleaned
Did a test run through for a volunteer award that I am presenting this week via video call (Teams)

Day 23
A post-operation check-up with the doctor, things look good!
Got on an airplane and moved to Seattle

Day 24
Our car arrived
Moved into our new apartment (unaccompanied by our stuff that is still in the truck on the way to WA)
Purchased patio furniture from a locally owned patio store
Took some time to walk around our neighborhood

Day 25
Returned the rental car
Picked up our Target order, we now have Lysol spray, hand soap and; hand sanitizer back in our life :)

Day 26
Did an 11mile hike with a friend at Wallace Dallas state park

Day 27
Called family to reconnect
Hiked St. Edward's state park with Ian

Day 28
Had an attempted social distance coffee and park visit with a friend and her 3 years old, three-year-olds don't understand social distance :)

Day 29
On a whim decided to ride the ferries over to Port Angles. Had outdoor lunch with a friend and then hiked in the Olympic national park.

Day 30
Kept the Olympic national park tour going with a hike along the beach before visiting our cat who is staying with my Brother until I am more moved in.

today is today, today is a good day

Reflections are written and delayed posting not a reflection of current status, but a window into a past moment.

Every day and every moment we have a choice to make.

When the volume of need exceeds the capacity of response we have a choice to make.

Today I am riding that edge of more than can be done but today is today and today is a good day.

As we ride that edge, I look for any line, any space, anything that I can do to keep us on that edge a bit longer.


The potential to go tumbling down is there, miserable failure is a possibility but before we crash, before we tumble before we fail we will try.

I will try to alleviate suffering. 

I will try to create a system that is workable.

I will try to be at the forefront of humanitarian aid as we face new impacts of climate and social realities. 

COVID-19

7 weeks into social distancing. If I was going to title each week the 7 titles would be:

Excitement?

Overworked

Overwhelmed

Exhaustion

Sick or is it allergies

Grandfather passes

Cramps

Tomorrow

Reflections are written and delayed posting not a reflection of current status, but a window into a past moment.

Cant do it all

To be a high achiever

or an overachiever

I find that I excel in the face of unimaginable challenges where many before me have faltered and where the stakes are unimaginably high and the oceans continue to rises.



But I do it at a cost

There are weeks that I don't talk to friend and family that I love

There are days where the sun it out and the weather is perfect and I am overwhelmed by the though of leaving my apartment.

It is not depression its just exhaustion.

A deep physical and emotional need to hibernate for a day and to re-charge.

Tomorrow I'll go outside.

Tomorrow I'll call my mom

Tomorrow I'll be ready to take on the evolving humanitarian needs in America.

Discrimination overlooked

Discrimination masked by talented young women.

Kilgore Tx, a town that has passed its prime but still holds much charm was once one of America's great oil boom-towns, home of the world's richest acre. 75 years ago Killgore College the Jr college in this little Texas town struck gold in a more metaphorical sense. Seeing the challenge of a town built around the male-dominated oil industry a new fine art form was introduced to attract a different type of person to Kilgore. Introducing the Kilgore Rangerettes. A group of young women who are top dance drill members who come together for two intense years of study sprinkled with high profile performances and football half time shows. When this concept was born in 1939 it was the birth of an art form that has grown in popularity throughout the world.

Last evening I had the opportunity to go watch the Rangerettes perform and their talent was apparent but equally apparent was the discrimination happening within the drill team, the community and the college.

Gregg county where Kilgore College is located has about 22% of its population identifying as African American, about 15% who identify as Hispanic, 1% who identify as other and the remaining are identified as Caucasian. As with most of the United States, about 51% of the population is women and 49% men.

The KC Rangerettes are comprised of approximately 60 members, 2 coaches/ directors, 7 choreographers and 6 mangers. Of these 70+ individuals 2 maybe 3 would be identified as African American. No directors, no choreographers and no dancers were male, all of the managers were.

While this composition and inequality within the Rangerettes performance a larger level of discrimination has me truly upset and disgusted with our society that turns a blind eye.


Pictured below is the Rangerettes on-campus housing.

And here is Athletic on-campus housing. The KC football team has approximately 60 members 43 of whom would be identified as African American

The photos can't capture the difference, on the street where the Rangerettes reside, practice and perform the landscaping is well maintained and aesthetically pleasing, the street is repaired, the sidewalks clear of debris. Less than 5 blocks away the football team lives in on a street that has little landscaping, poorly maintained roads, and debris is left on the sidewalks.

This entire situation is a problem, inequality and discrimination are occurring daily at this local Jr College as the administrative staff and the community that supports them allow for policies to prevails that create such dramatic divides between groups of people.