Day 3 #7DaysOfSocialMediaVulnerabilityChallenge2017

I meditated today for the second time this week I'm really enjoying from the five to ten-minute guided breathing that you can find when you search meditation videos on You Tube. 

10 min or less is my ideal amount of time, when I was living in India I went (Three times a week) to a 90 min Tibetan reflection teachings, 45 min at the start was always silent meditation and I hated it, felt anything but relaxed. 

I think 10 min of guided breathing based meditation really slows me down and help me keep life in perspective. Especially as perfectly mundane and normal things can become easily over-analyzed by me and start to stress me out. Focusing on breathing allows my mind to stop and reset. Its really been wonderful. 

Day 2 #7DaysOfSocialMediaVulnerabilityChallenge2017

As I've moved further into adulthood I found that it's difficult to build deeper relationship connections with casual acquaintances. This social challenge that we face is widespread and expected as we become a more mobile and urban society. This social reality is part of what prompted me to put myself on the 7-Day to end 2017 social media sharing challenge. Putting myself out of my comfort zone by putting honest parts of me out there for all of you to see.

Day 1 #7DaysOfSocialMediaVulnerabilityChallenge2017

I'm a passionate day hiker nothing makes me happier than getting out and doing 6 to 11 miles on a trail, where I feel relatively alone, guided by a path created years before. When hiking the slight elements of risk exist and my success is ruled by my actions. When hiking alone I can easily get lost in my own thoughts. When lost in thought I pass hours and miles without consciously processing what's happening in the world around me. When I look up the physical space I'm in is lovely and alive and something very few have access to, it’s a moment of bliss unlike anything I can re-create.

7 days of social media vulnerability challenge 2017

As I've navigated my way into a world where social media relationships are built on sharing personal As I've navigated my way into a world where social media relationships are built on sharing personal information I've stayed relatively quiet.

I want to challenge myself; for the next 7 days as I close out 2017 to move into 2018, to every day share with, you, my online connections something personal that's happening in my life.

I am calling this the 7 days of social media vulnerability challenge 2017.
I am nervous and excited to see how the next seven days will impact me and what impacts it might have on those who I am connected with in the social space. I will be posting on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, Pinterest and Snapchat.


Check back tomorrow for my first post.

Aug 9th events

August 9th 2007 the Dow tanked 300 points in reaction to the subprime mortgage crisis. It was the moment the subprime mortgage entered the global market

August 9 1974 Richard Nixon resigned

1st horse arrived in Hawaii 1880

Michael Brown was shot on Aug 9th 2013

Tower of piza construction started on Aug 9 621

Smokey the bear was born

Nagasaki Japan bombed 1947

Wichita Mountains, Oklahoma

 

While the name is deceiving the Wichita Mountains are filled with wonder and life. What is lacking in height is made up in surprise. After over a year in Lubbock we found ourselves traveling back to St. Louis for a funeral, with no time to prepare flights were unreasonable so we made the drive. On our return trip we stopped for the night in the Lawton OK are, about 30min from the Wichita Mountains. Needing a chance of pace and bit of exercise after several days of driving and eating we were happy to discover this area has great trails that are easy to navigate and designed for short 2 hour hikes.

As this is almost the same distance as Carlsbad NM I would not recommend this as a weekend trip from the Lubbock area unless you are really burnt out on the trails to the west. But I would highly recommend this if you are going on a road trip, I think I could have easily camped and spend several days in this area enjoying the unexpected beauty that makes up the Wichita Mountains.

 

 

As an aside, I have recently been reading quite a bit on Quanah Parker and had hoped while we were so close to get a chance to visit the star house. The man who owns the home is willing to let you see it however you need to time your visit with when he is closing up the restaurant (and that time depends on how many customers) We did not have ½ a day to wait for the restaurant to close so had to pass on this opportunity, if we are ever back I would like to see in person this incredible part of west Texas history.

Its hard to change the world

It’s been just about 15 months since my husband and I decided to chase my dream, to see how far I can push myself and along the way how much of a positive impact I can make.

I’m not going to lie, it’s been a true roller-coaster. Today I am on day 3 of a long holiday weekend and I feel as burnt out as I have ever felt. I am starting to wonder if I might be slipping into a burnout fueled depression. And it’s really no surprise that I am so burnt out, I went into my blog today and in my drafts found halfhearted starts at entries while I was trying to sort out what was going on.

 

 

 

 

From month 7

This has been one of the more terrible weeks of my life.

No one that I know died, but our health has been poor (I write this from the emergency department waiting room).

My dream job has become a nightmare and I am not sure how to move beyond it or even if I want too.

Two weeks ago we were facing the possibility that Ian might not ever be able to work due to a unusual spinal complication.

Now all I want to do is spend a month taking naps and reading books before starting a new less stressful job in Portland. But the journey from here to there is very unclear and our once wise and responsible choices have me now feeling trapped in a job I am deeply distaining in a community that I feel isolated with a silver lining torn to shreds. The husband I love is stuck in a vicious cycle of illness and our beautiful home is financially strapping me to having a somewhat well-paying job.

To make things worse I think I now have the flu and my drive and capacity to care or make strategic moves is all but gone. I spent the vast majority of my day watching fuller house and wishing I had a super-rich sister or friend I could live with until I had things figured out.

 

 

From month 8

 

In 4 hours I have to talk to the rudest person I know and I am dreading every moment until that time.

 

I am trying to keep myself calm and hoping beyond hope that I walk away feeling better not worse as I am on the edge of quitting as things stand but I really want to make it for the stability it will give us

 

 

 

 

 

Through the bad days so much positive progress is being made, in some ways that makes it bearable and in others its worse. If I was completely failing just giving up and moving on would be so much easier.

By absorbing the pain and putting 110% into making it a positive and impactful work I am making huge strides in the positive direction, those externally see the work required and that we are moving full steam towards the goal, with me happily at the helm. But inside I am dying. The challenges while lessening remain great, the sense that I cannot control the outcome grows.

About a month ago I went on a wonderful Central American vacation that has left me wanting to re-configure my life so that I can spend more time traveling and socially connected.  I know deep down that another year in this life is needed. I have grown so much in the past 15 months that another 12 will make me unrecognizable to the person I was. I just need to find a way to keep the passion on fire.

I do not have a solution, more wanted to post to be a gage marker for myself and perhaps find a reader who is fighting a similar fight and hearing yourself in a stranger can provide you with some relief. 

Things I am trying to get the flame burning bright

-          More Sleep

-          More Coffee – the fancy kind

-          More trips to see loved ones

-          More massage appointments

-          More yoga

 

To my future self and to the occasional reader I leave you with this quote from Leroy Hood