Its hard to change the world

It’s been just about 15 months since my husband and I decided to chase my dream, to see how far I can push myself and along the way how much of a positive impact I can make.

I’m not going to lie, it’s been a true roller-coaster. Today I am on day 3 of a long holiday weekend and I feel as burnt out as I have ever felt. I am starting to wonder if I might be slipping into a burnout fueled depression. And it’s really no surprise that I am so burnt out, I went into my blog today and in my drafts found halfhearted starts at entries while I was trying to sort out what was going on.

 

 

 

 

From month 7

This has been one of the more terrible weeks of my life.

No one that I know died, but our health has been poor (I write this from the emergency department waiting room).

My dream job has become a nightmare and I am not sure how to move beyond it or even if I want too.

Two weeks ago we were facing the possibility that Ian might not ever be able to work due to a unusual spinal complication.

Now all I want to do is spend a month taking naps and reading books before starting a new less stressful job in Portland. But the journey from here to there is very unclear and our once wise and responsible choices have me now feeling trapped in a job I am deeply distaining in a community that I feel isolated with a silver lining torn to shreds. The husband I love is stuck in a vicious cycle of illness and our beautiful home is financially strapping me to having a somewhat well-paying job.

To make things worse I think I now have the flu and my drive and capacity to care or make strategic moves is all but gone. I spent the vast majority of my day watching fuller house and wishing I had a super-rich sister or friend I could live with until I had things figured out.

 

 

From month 8

 

In 4 hours I have to talk to the rudest person I know and I am dreading every moment until that time.

 

I am trying to keep myself calm and hoping beyond hope that I walk away feeling better not worse as I am on the edge of quitting as things stand but I really want to make it for the stability it will give us

 

 

 

 

 

Through the bad days so much positive progress is being made, in some ways that makes it bearable and in others its worse. If I was completely failing just giving up and moving on would be so much easier.

By absorbing the pain and putting 110% into making it a positive and impactful work I am making huge strides in the positive direction, those externally see the work required and that we are moving full steam towards the goal, with me happily at the helm. But inside I am dying. The challenges while lessening remain great, the sense that I cannot control the outcome grows.

About a month ago I went on a wonderful Central American vacation that has left me wanting to re-configure my life so that I can spend more time traveling and socially connected.  I know deep down that another year in this life is needed. I have grown so much in the past 15 months that another 12 will make me unrecognizable to the person I was. I just need to find a way to keep the passion on fire.

I do not have a solution, more wanted to post to be a gage marker for myself and perhaps find a reader who is fighting a similar fight and hearing yourself in a stranger can provide you with some relief. 

Things I am trying to get the flame burning bright

-          More Sleep

-          More Coffee – the fancy kind

-          More trips to see loved ones

-          More massage appointments

-          More yoga

 

To my future self and to the occasional reader I leave you with this quote from Leroy Hood

 

The Why of Work: Communication

Off and on since September I have been on a journey reading and processing the book "The Why of Work" By Dave and Wendy Ulrich.

After quickly being captured by some startling research and time contemplating the section titled 'Leaders who focus on Meaning create an abundant response', I took a few weeks to think about the "Seven Questions that Drive Abundance". In this examination I am reviewing what the Ulrich's write on communication.

Four intreated points really stood out to me and feel so very applicable to the non profit sector:

A common finding from employee attitude surveys is that communication rates low: Employees often feel out of the loop about ideas leader think are well understood.  Leaders often find that they are continually thinking about ideas and within the non profit sector are developing these ideas with their boards and counterparts from other sectors that by the time the idea is launched the leader is so immersed in the concept and those who are part of the leadership team have heard it since inception there is frequently a lack of communication to those lower down in the organization.

A positive work environment is fostered by communication that is redundant, two way and affectively charged. The non profit sector attracts individuals who passionately care about the area of work. taking this passion and channeling it into positive communication among the team can be that extra lift an organization needs to bring its mission to the next level. Weekly staff meetings do not have to be a chore, they can become a platform for quality communication.

When a complex or new ideas are involved, it probably takes 10 units of communication for every unit of understanding. What? WOW! No wonder I spend so much time scratching my head thinking I told you this already. How do I build this level of redundancy into what I do? I have continually found myself in the position where I am leading change, developing and implementing new projects and pioneering new ideas. Thinking about some of those things that I am currently working on, perhaps I need to purposefully set for 10 individual units of communication with each person on the team. Its very much worth the experiment and if its successful I could save myself so much head scratching and time that I feel that is unsuccessful reiteration of a point I have already made.

Sony regularly encourages employees to offer suggestions for improvement and seeks to implement over 90% of the ideas. Incredible, going back to my prior point that the non profit sector attracts individuals who are passionate, imagine what it would look like if their suggestions for improvement were seriously sought after and implemented. Might the rate of failed non profits dramatically decline? Could the effectiveness of those that are marginal allow them to become something great. How can I as a mid level manager help my organization move this direction? Do I make a point to really hear the suggestions of others? Could their ideas cause me to achieve success that I am not even looking for?

The Why of Work: Attitude Toward Accountability

Accountability is such a critical piece of any organizations success. Often team loose sight of it and it has drastic consequences.






Dave and Wendy have a short section spanning a few pages that bring us some astute points that I wanted to capture and share.

All leaders and organizations should set clear goals and make practical plans. I have seen so often in my time in the non profit sector vague goals that have no measurement are dependent on outside factions that the organization has no control over. Equally as often I have seen goals that are impractical and are setting the organization and the employee up for failure.






Have clear, reasonable expectations and hold others accountable for results. People will come to trust that they can succeed.



When leaders shirk candid conversations about accountability, no system will work. Three simple phrases that a leader can use with talking about accountability that are game changers toward success
- Help me understand.
- The data is demonstrating
- ...so that we can solve the problem?












I worked at an organization that was very goal focused, every day at our team meetings we would set goals for ourselves. These goals were based on larger quarterly goals and were steps to keep us on track to meet these larger goals. During the day if one of us was not living up to our goal the team would discuss with that individual what the barriers to success were and work with them to identify how they were going to overcome that barrier to accomplish the daily goal they had set for themselves. Failing to meet ones daily goal was not seen as failure, the next day one would simply revise the goal incorporating the learning's from the previous days failings.

The Why of Work: The Satisfaction of a Genuine Contribution

As my post at the end of September alluded I have been on a journey reading and processing the book "The Why of Work" By Dave and Wendy Ulrich. The Ulriches and the book have a web site: http://thewhyofwork.com/ . After quickly being captured by some startling research and time contemplating the section titled 'Leaders who focus on Meaning create an abundant response', I took a few weeks to think about the "Seven Questions that Drive Abundance". In this examination I am reviewing what they Ulrich's write on employee contributions.

"As a leader, you create a more abundant organization when you help employees clarify their personal identity and enhance their signature strengths and then help them see how those strengths fit with the goals and values of the organization."

The Ulrich's suggest a 5 step process to achieve this:
1. Help employees define and grow their personal strengths. - There is a web site authentichappiness.org that offers a survey "VIA Survey of Character Strengths". A baseline tool to support your employees identifying their strengths. 
2. Define and build organizational capabilities required for success.
3. Meld personal strengths and organizational capabilities.
4. Determine customer and investor expectations.
5. Connect both personal and organizational identities with the needs of customers and investors.


In the non profit world this seems like an overwhelming task and I initially wonder is it even worth is considering the high turn over rate our sector is faced with. I wonder about myself and can think of times that i have been given a task that built the organizational capacity that also utilized and strengthened by personal strengths. These projects as stand along projects were a value added investment to the organization regardless of the length of time I stayed in my position. In honest reflection these projects expanded my time with the organization as an employee.

When I was working in a youth mentoring program our volunteers would fill out an interest survey that we used to match them with a youth who shared similar interests. I am confidant that a similar system could be used for both staff and volunteers to identify who is best suited to tasks needed to meet customer (Client) and investor (donor) expectations. 

The Why of Work

The Why of Work by David and Wendy Ulrich.

That question - the Why of Work, is one often easily answered in the non profit sector. Its a calling, a mission, a passion, a heart factor.

As I reflect on the sector and my experience in it all of these hold some truths, but when daily operations, and apathetic employees create poor performance across large portions of the non profit sector the why of work is the ideal question to be exploring.

The Ulrich's did not write the book for the non profit professional, it is aimed at those in upper mid management in a for profit environment, reading and reflecting on it has caused me great insight into ways that the sector struggles and ways that I can move my sphere of influence forward.

The first point that really captured me into the research of this book:
A Saratoga institute study found that 72 percent of employees who quit, leave because they feel they are not being recognized for their contributions or sufficiently respected and coached by their leaders.

- Wow, that is something that is very much in a leaders control. This has direct application to volunteer management and fostering and retaining great non profit employees.

In several of the organizations I have worked in those who had been in functionally the same role within the organization 5 or more years were often apathetic and complacent. In four different organizations I watch, highly talented, mission driven employees leave well before the 5 year mark. These individuals during personal conversations expressed feelings of overworked, taken advantage of, frustration at the lack of recognition and respect they deserved.

My take away from this is that I as a manager need to step up my recognition and coaching. Last year I hand wrote a card to each member of my team and distributed them at the holiday party, thanking them for their service. This year I have already set aside 1.5 hours each week to bring that recognition to the next level, I have set aside a portion of my budget to purchase small appreciation gifts to give with these notes and I plan to include an idea for a new years resolution focused on their development within our organization.

Combine calling with coaching and the potential to retain great members of your non profit workforce will improve.

Volunteering as a Career Builder Toolkit

An amazing resource that I need to keep for latter use!

Volunteering as a Career Builder
Volunteer Center United Way of Central Indiana
3901 N. Meridian Street
Indianapolis, IN 46208
volunteer@uwci.org
317.921.1271

The Volunteering as a Career Builder Toolkit is designed to help those who seek to engage in
volunteering as a means to strategically advance their careers, build skills, and create more
meaningful experiences. This guide is a series of practical tools, exercises and examples that
will help you evaluate, communicate, and seek volunteer opportunities that will help advance
your professional goals. The activities in the toolkit build on each other but may be used
independently as desired. This toolkit has been designed for:

 Career starters – individuals who have recently graduated high school or college,
individuals starting a career for the first time or those who are returning to a career after
a long break
 Career changers – individuals who are seeking to shift or change their careers and need
to develop new skills or competencies to make themselves more marketable
 Recently unemployed – individuals who have lost their jobs and are seeking ways to
stand out from other candidates, maintain existing skills or make connections to new
careers
 Skill builders – individuals who wish to build or enhance professional skills and
competencies through volunteer service for personal or professional benefit
 Volunteer managers – nonprofit staff who manage volunteers and are interested in
assisting them build career skills through volunteering


Find it at: http://www.uwci.org/files/file/volunteerism-as-career-builder-toolkit-for-volunteers.pdf

Trying to be ONE - The Republic of the Philippines and the American Red Cross

When attending graduate school in the Philippines I had the opportunity to take several course on Philippines government and administration. One of the fundamental learning that I took ways from these course is that the Philippines as a government is trying to create the concept of unity, cohesion and oneness thought the nation. They are working towards this by moving functions and administrations to be the same in every district so that you can be anywhere and it will be operating under the same system as anywhere else with only minor local differences(such as the office location, key community members ect).

In concept is sounds like a great way to move the nation forward. In reality it is encountering many difficulties. Devising and implementing systems and procedures that are identical in the mega city of Manila and in the remote islands of Hundred Islands. Manila is a fast paced technologically advanced multi-media political, cultural and population center of the Philippines. Hundred Islands on the other hand is is a grouping of 100 plus islands that used to be a coral bed of which only 3 have been developed for visitors. On every level the Philippines is facing challenges. Should the Philippine government have computer systems to track tax collection, city plans, HR and so forth? Global best practices say YES. So the Philippines did just that, the created a comprehensive system with forms, procedures and software to put the ONE nation of the Philippines onto one system and dispersed these requirements and tools to local government offices and officials. This was a fantastic, a solid step to take a developing nation towards a new chapter in their history. Unfortunately some jurisdictions do not have reliable power supplies, let along functional computer and internet systems. This micro example to highlight the magnificent challenge faced by nations who were not historically one group but several moving into the 21st century united and working to become ONE.

On a national level I have seen the identical struggle in India, but the idea of being ONE is not exclusive to nations it is being experience and explored in other sectors. Working for the American Red Cross I am a participant in their move towards ONE. To the average person the American Red Cross has always been one organization  but to those more intimately involved they will tell you how each chapter was one in itself, they set their priorities, standards and service areas. In order to deliver consistent quality service in a financially sound way the Red Cross has been undergoing some very challenging organizational shifts,  creating a consistency across the entire United States. Of course minor local differences will remain (facility, staff, volunteers). Not surprisingly they are encountering some of the same challenges faced by diverse nation states undergoing this approach. The operation capacity in urban America (NYC, LA, Dallas) is vastly different from rural America (think McCook Nebraska). The core principles driving both nation states and large national organizations is to enhance capacity and performance. The challenges faced are reflective of the extreme diversity in the areas they cover. The opportunity for lessons learned is huge, the success and challenges faced by those in the process of unifying and standardizing can be shared across sectors. I hope following this unification best practices will be developed and shared to enhance the process and experience as other nations and organizations endeavor towards greater unification and standardization
.

10 years and counting in the non profit sector

This is what I hope to be the start of a series of posts reflective of the time as a practitioner on the ground level with non profit organizations.

Team Building Day

To give myself come credentials I begun working with faith based communities in 1994 and have since been involved in a meaningful way with over 20 community/ civic minded agencies and have had tangible impacted over 20,000 peoples lives. How do I define meaningful? I am looking for those experiences I have had where I have been involved either in a substantive (40+/hr/week) for at least 2 months or have had consistent(2+/hr/ week) involvement spread over one or more years.

My first paid position was with a community theater in 2002 and the need to generate community change has not gone away.  In this post as I work to credential myself and begin to think of how to arrange my thoughts I have generated the following list of my organizational involvement, the approximate time and my general thoughts on how many lives I have impacted (really much like my resume without bullet points of accomplishments).

1994 - 2001 St Augustine Catholic Church, 300 people impacted - Sunday School and Vacation Bible School instructions

1997 - 2002 Kids Can Free The Children, 2000 people impacted - Local chapter founder

2002 - YMCA Camp St.Croix, 1000 people impacted - Summer program staff

2002- 2003 - AmeriCorps State, 300 people impacted - Education and community programming

• Pillsbury Community Center
• El Colegio Charter School 
• Heart of the Beast Theater

2003-2006 - Seton Hall University, 35 people impacted - English as a Second Language Instruction

2005 - YMCA Camp Du.Nord, 1,000 people impacted - Summer program staff

2005-2006 - Peace Games NYC, 1,000 people impacted - Internship Program Development

2007 - AmeriCorps NCCC , 3,550 people impacted

• St. Barnard's Project
• Habitat for Humanity
• Presbyterian Disaster Relief
• NY Cares
• US Fire Service

2008-2009 - Eckerd Youth Alternatives, 35 people impacted - Senior Councilor

2010 - Learning Ideas for Tibet, 150 people impacted - Educator, Newsletter Liaison, Program Development.

2011 - Atma, 5,000 people impacted - International Volunteer Lead

2011 - YMCA Camp Menogyn, 200 people impacted - Summer program staff

2011-2013 - Best Friends Mentoring Program (NDSU), 300 people impacted - Program Manager

2013- Current - American Red Cross, 1,000 people impacted - Disaster Program Manager

Service Unites: Conference on Volunteering and Service

Atlanta Georgia. June 16-18 2014

Convened by: Points of Light

Title Sponsor: UPS

4560 – Faith-Based and Diverse Community Disaster Preparedness Summit Planning

The first 72 Hours – this is the title for a shelter in place disaster kit initiative

http://www.first72hours.org/resources/?tag=red-cross

In post disaster we work with our communities to return to the new normal

Praise and Preparedness– praise.ga.gov

-          Facility safety checklist for our faith based partners. If something happened when people are in the building do they know what to do and dose the facility have 72hours supplies?

-          Jancay.stragell@gema.ga.gov

-          Be very specific in what you want from your faith based community

-          7^th day latter day saints missionaries to spread preparedness messages

-          Disasters do not discriminate and neither do we

Faith preparedness summits county by county

-          Meeting planning at various locations and send out etiquette messages pre meting

Atlanta chapter has fake disaster scripts that they use during building tours— Carisa.hettich@redcross.org

                                     

4946 – Thought Leadership: How Do You Embed Civic and Community Values in a Company?

Mass Mutual is building up a volunteer program

Morgan Stanley Foundation – Suzanne Brown

The Civic 50 as a conversation as partnering with businesses

Global Citizenship – Fed Ex Julia Chioskie Community Affairs

Think of CSR as a portfolio and have it filled with diverse investments

State Street Corporation Boston – Regina McNalley: Requires non profit board service to be promoted to executive level.

Opening Session

Lessons from history makers to change makers – Congressman John Lewis, Ambassador Andrew Young, Dr Bernice King and Reverend CT. Vivian discussed their experiences as frontrunners to change and how that change is one they have continued to work towards their entire life.

David Abney CEO Elect from UPS announced the pledge of 20million service hours by 2020 - http://www.ups.com/pressroom/us/press_releases/press_release/Press+Releases/Homepage+Press+Releases/ci.UPS+Pledges+20+Million+Hours+of+Volunteer+Service+by+End+of+2020.syndication

Social Change 2.0 – Chelsea Clinton, Mayor Dayne Walling, Kweku Mandela and Bethaney Wright discussed how to engage the upcoming generation to be the leaders of social change.

4875 – Pathway to Excellence: Proving Your Professional Competence Breakfast

5 competencies for volunteer administrators

-          Ethics

-          Organizational Management

-          Human Resource Management

-          Accountability

-          Leadership and Advocacy.

CVACERT.ORG

“from the top down”

Write about volunteer management

Performance reviews based on the competencies

Professional certification

Direction power – know where you want to go

Write about practical experience as a way to become a leader in the field, also a door to working in higher education

4623 – Mobilizing Low – Income Volunteers through Economic Opportunity

United Way as host agency for AmeriCorps Programs

Volunteerism embedded into the community

CNCS volunteering is connected to Employment

Incentives motivate 18% of volunteers

Volunteer opportunities based within low income housing

·         $25 rent credit with a minimum of 4 hours of volunteering per month

·         Set expectations of professional conduct as a volunteer

Move from begging to choosing

The movement from all hands to skilled hands

5031 – Mini Session: Volunteer Engagement Practices

Speakers: Karen Bantuverus, Katelin Kennedy, Art Ordoqui, Kendall Stiles

Hands on activity idea: Building neighborhood preparedness and social packets to give out in their neighborhoods.

Hospitality + service by Hilton http://news.hiltonworldwide.com/index.cfm/misc/hospitality

-          Great for shelter workers

-          Front desk volunteers

-          Leadership level volunteers

-          Hilton employees will be trained to present this by next year

Volunteer Spot – http:vols.pt/ncvs

UPS 20million volunteer hours by 2020 – can we make this a local connection?

Kendall Stiles – Sharing moments of recognition everyday (requested slides)

@realizedworth

Recognition on social network for volunteers

Twibbon – with social volunteers

Live stream presentations its free for non-profits

Wufoo – form builder

Nominate daily points of light winners

Thanks a latte – 5 service project and a local vendor donates a free latte

4821 – Professional Development: Women in Leadership Fireside Chat

If you don’t get lost every once in a while you must be on someone else’s path

Richard Branson – risk taker

Virgin Unite – let people be their whole self at work

Jane Tuwson – Comic Relief

Kathy Calvin – UN Foundation

Mary Robinson – Ireland

Incorporate language of those your speaking with be it business or government

Follow your purpose and stay consistent to it

Reba Dominski – Target

Anne Cunningham – Starbucks

Lori Billingsley – Coke

15 year vision

Get a mentor

-          Tell your story

-          Know what you offer

-          Know what you need

-          When asking have the plan and the time frame

Identify you gaps and look for options to build your skill set

Confidence is more important than competence

Look @ your track record

@askcunningham

Work someplace where your treasured

Save your treasure so when you want to retire you can

Be you – that’s where doors open and you are fulfilled

Assume positive intent

Seek to understand and educate

Daily affirmations

4970 – Captain Planet – An Environment for Effective Partnerships: Tales of Collaboration Told through Atlanta’s River and Green spaces (#NCVS4970)

Three different environmental groups presented with a representative from one of their primary corporate partners

Coke cola and Chattahoochee River keeper  - www.chattahoochee.org  

Earth share Georgia - http://earthsharega.org/

Kaiser Permanente and Captain Planet Foundation www.captainplanetfoundation.org

Corporate Volunteer Council of the year awards http://cvcofatlanta.org/

Captain planet – school environmental curriculum

Partnerships as an opportunity to network and learn

Communicate back with partners about how the work they are doing supports us

Partner volunteer leads to employee fulfillment

Dow jones sustainability index

5032 – Mini Session: Ways to engage targeted populations

Speakers: Kimberly Gube and Zeeda Magnuson

Summit – bring corporate partners & NGO’s leaders to explore tools that can enhance the work of the NGO – 6 hours, 6 sessions

Survey NGO’s for topics

Corporate partners offered consultation services

Get sponsorships for those presenting

$25 fee for non-profit to get list and prevent no shows

Zeeda Magnuson @ handson Twin Cities

Tables for org’s out front and to ask their contacts as attendees

Millennials are on track to be the most educated generation in history

Talk to your friends about us is a great way to mobilize millennials

One day events engage millennials – canvassing

4708 – Fostering a culture of service: strategies of U.S. and International Leaders (#NCVS4708)

Atlas Corps – Fellows http://www.atlascorps.org/

Meridian – Global service leaders http://www.meridian.org/gsl

Mexico volunteer culture is less defined; they have a very large informal sector. Needs greater policy support. Bachelor’s degrees require 120hrs of service

Nigeria has groups in each community called aid groups who have to pay to be in it and they care for the community. If you don’t belong to one of these groups you don’t get funereal rights when you die. Nationwide service is mandatory post university where you are placed in a different place in the country

Columbia is in the perfect position for service to develop. Service has traditional been seen as related to the catholic church but this is changing. Government is starting to adopt youth volunteering model

Pakistan has no general volunteer culture but lots of opportunities for those who want to do it. Only nation in the world with a chain of hospitals that treat cancer for free. http://www.indushospital.org.pk/

India has a culture of volunteering around religion. Service has become a major political capitol and has engaged youth. Volunteering has moved towards building capacity in the community. Recent legislation now requires all businesses to make a social responsibility contribution of 2% annually.

Spain – informal volunteering is common. NGO’s are seen as part of the system. Technology is key to service engagement.

Service as part of culture/ mandatory VS volunteering

Training programs needed as service culture develops.

Connecting potential with opportunities

Mobil footprint to generate change

Open streets map

Teach for Pakistan

Nigeria has para military who are paid pseudo volunteers to provide opportunities for you who in the past were causing issues.

Intuit is a big preparedness focused agency and are growing globally

CSR is a growing trend

Engage in smaller groups

Carl Trilphorn – peace corps

Ugly Indian – crowd sourced cleanup crews

Closing Plenary: Redefining our story

Beyond right and wrong a guide to changing the world around you

Skittles as the magic and power of diversity and us all in the package together

Income dose not determine outcome

National human tariffing hotline

Everyday Cambodia

State ratings on trafficking

Know the change.org

Reagan deep and mighty river that flows through our nation

When did you do your service?

2015 you serve fundraiser

Citibank 1million American corps commitment = service works

Disrupters.

General Resources Shared:

AllForGood.com

http://www.learnitlive.com/index.php

toolbank.org

Planning

Charity salaries

Is one charity automatically more respectable than another just because its leader is paid a lower salary? Not necessarily, says Charity Navigator, a website that evaluates and compares the financial health of charitable organizations.

"While there are certainly some charities that overpay their leaders," the site's FAQ page explains, "Charity Navigator's data shows that those organizations are the minority. Among the charities we've evaluated, the average CEO salary is $150,000. ... These leaders could inevitably make much more running similarly sized for-profit firms. Furthermore, when making your decision [about where to donate] it is important to consider that it takes a certain level of professionalism to effectively run a charity and charities must offer a competitive salary if they want to attract and retain that level of leadership."

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_charities_salaries.htm

Working at a non profit

A dear friend of mine is also working in the non profit sector. Last week she informed me that she follows my blog and sent me this in response to some of my recent posts about the challenges/ joys of the sector.

I hope you enjoy!

http://workingatanonprofit.tumblr.com/

putting your soul in what you do

I love the non profit sector. I love knowing that day in and day out I am actively engaged in making the world a better place. That said I continue to find myself in situations where I am giving so fully that I burn out, where the support is not built in, where I start to hit walls and don't have the energy to climb them. For over four years and 5 employers (that's not as bad as it sounds) I have contemplated moving into the for profit sector and continually think that I don't want to spend the largest chunk of my time each day not making a difference.

This month I have gone from feeling on top of the world to freaked out about unrealistic expectations to determined to make it work to crashed and thinking that everything I do is for nothing.

and these are the days where I start to think that money and not a better world might be a more realistic way to take my life.

This is simply another account of the document non-profit burn out that our sector faces. Much of mine come from overwhelming expectations so something is away undone with feeling a lack of control over my career mobility and advancement.