Its hard to change the world

It’s been just about 15 months since my husband and I decided to chase my dream, to see how far I can push myself and along the way how much of a positive impact I can make.

I’m not going to lie, it’s been a true roller-coaster. Today I am on day 3 of a long holiday weekend and I feel as burnt out as I have ever felt. I am starting to wonder if I might be slipping into a burnout fueled depression. And it’s really no surprise that I am so burnt out, I went into my blog today and in my drafts found halfhearted starts at entries while I was trying to sort out what was going on.

 

 

 

 

From month 7

This has been one of the more terrible weeks of my life.

No one that I know died, but our health has been poor (I write this from the emergency department waiting room).

My dream job has become a nightmare and I am not sure how to move beyond it or even if I want too.

Two weeks ago we were facing the possibility that Ian might not ever be able to work due to a unusual spinal complication.

Now all I want to do is spend a month taking naps and reading books before starting a new less stressful job in Portland. But the journey from here to there is very unclear and our once wise and responsible choices have me now feeling trapped in a job I am deeply distaining in a community that I feel isolated with a silver lining torn to shreds. The husband I love is stuck in a vicious cycle of illness and our beautiful home is financially strapping me to having a somewhat well-paying job.

To make things worse I think I now have the flu and my drive and capacity to care or make strategic moves is all but gone. I spent the vast majority of my day watching fuller house and wishing I had a super-rich sister or friend I could live with until I had things figured out.

 

 

From month 8

 

In 4 hours I have to talk to the rudest person I know and I am dreading every moment until that time.

 

I am trying to keep myself calm and hoping beyond hope that I walk away feeling better not worse as I am on the edge of quitting as things stand but I really want to make it for the stability it will give us

 

 

 

 

 

Through the bad days so much positive progress is being made, in some ways that makes it bearable and in others its worse. If I was completely failing just giving up and moving on would be so much easier.

By absorbing the pain and putting 110% into making it a positive and impactful work I am making huge strides in the positive direction, those externally see the work required and that we are moving full steam towards the goal, with me happily at the helm. But inside I am dying. The challenges while lessening remain great, the sense that I cannot control the outcome grows.

About a month ago I went on a wonderful Central American vacation that has left me wanting to re-configure my life so that I can spend more time traveling and socially connected.  I know deep down that another year in this life is needed. I have grown so much in the past 15 months that another 12 will make me unrecognizable to the person I was. I just need to find a way to keep the passion on fire.

I do not have a solution, more wanted to post to be a gage marker for myself and perhaps find a reader who is fighting a similar fight and hearing yourself in a stranger can provide you with some relief. 

Things I am trying to get the flame burning bright

-          More Sleep

-          More Coffee – the fancy kind

-          More trips to see loved ones

-          More massage appointments

-          More yoga

 

To my future self and to the occasional reader I leave you with this quote from Leroy Hood

 

The Why Of Work: Actions and Outcomes

"Leaders create a line of sight by crafting "if...then...." logic"

Our performance metrics are often based on then. My role is to identify for myself and my team what our if's are to ensure that we get there. Once I know this it becomes my responsibility to share these.

The last entry I did on this book I published my action item. A simple task of bringing up the idea of higher quality office furniture/ decor as a method to support a more positive work environment for our team. It took much longer than I anticipated for me to bring it up, and ultimately it came up during an e-mail discussion about recent employee engagement survey results.

Learning that I feel a sense of obligation to those random folks who read this, the action challenge that I am going to set for my self is going to be a team update call in December looking at the first 4 months of the Fiscal Year. Acknowledging that our metrics are based on Outcomes (Thens) and sharing what our actions (if's) need to be for us to find success.

Our actions define our outcome even when variables are beyond our control

The Why of Work: Physical Work Space

Its been several months since I made a post based on my readings of the Why of Work by Wendy and Dave Ulrich. I had several big events going on within my work that have needed my complete focus. As I am now returning to a more standard rhythm I picked up the book and flipped to the next dog eared and highlighted page to see what Dave and Wendy had written that almost a year ago caught my attention.

This section is on the attitude and value of physical space. As a change maker in your institution you can either let the physical space haphazardly evolve or make some strategic decisions that can generate long-term benefit for your institution.

The first argument that caught my attention was this statement "Investing in seating and work surfaces that fit the individual worker may be more costly than one size fits all office furniture but can pay for itself in workers' compensation alone (back pain leads to almost a quarter of workers' comp claims and a third of the dollars spent).

This is mind blowlingly clear that every leader when evaluating their budgets should be taking office furniture into consideration. But why than is this such a systemic challenge in the work place 1/4 of workers comp claims could be mitigated with better office furniture?!?!

Having just come out of our annual budget allocation and planning meeting I can attest first hand that these types of "luxury " expenses were not event on the radar. Often in organizations budgets things such as facilitates, and workers comp are held by individuals who are not directly linked to the workforce and their responsibility and scope would not enable them to make personalized office furniture decisions.

Mid level management who might be best positioned to make these types of decisions are often given limited budgeting authority and their discretionary funds are so limited that they would be faced with the choice of a few new chairs or funding  holiday socials and recognition events. In the non for profit world this becomes even a larger challenge as its extremely hard to fundraiser so that your staff can have the most advanced office furniture. While in the long run it will make your organization more successful at mission delivery the donor is typically not  interested in giving to office chairs.

I try to take this information and turn it into action. First thing I did was find what I think is my dream desk chair: The Herman Miller Embody -  http://myergonomicchair.com/ergonomic-chairs/herman-miller-embody-chair-review/

And while this is not going to come into my life this year, I hope that with my next promotion I can have this chair.

The second thing to do is a bit more complicated and that's determining how I can influence better office furniture within my organization. I think the first step might be a conversation with my direct manager during our next monthly review to see her thoughts on this information; and I will need to do a bit more research in the mean time.

Update:

Links to supporting documentation on better office furniture - 

http://www.public-health.uiowa.edu/hwce/office-ergonomics/supporting-literature-for-office-ergonomics/ 

http://www.gsa.gov/graphics/pbs/Innovative_Workplaces-508_R2OD26_0Z5RDZ-i34K-pR.pdf 

Happiness is not a finish line

6 months ago while my youngest brother was living in Antarctica I watched a TED talk from a man who went on an epic ice journey. His whole talk was fascinating and engaging but one line that he said has stuck in my head and caused me to reflect on it fairly consistently for the past 6 months. He said:

Happiness is not a finish line

In a society that is goal drive. Where we are taught that our value is based on our achievements this is against the grain but resounds as truth. How do we value and express the journey, which might be more important than the destination. How to express and share the content of our journey. I had dinner with some good friends the other day and they asked me if I felt like I was an adult. Without hesitation I said no. They both expressed their desire to feel like adults and the moments in the past 5 years that they feel were critical for them to achieve this feeling of adulthood. They both than shared that while they feel like adults they continue to look at those who are older than they are and have feelings similar to when they were a child watching adults and wishing they would hurry up and grow up.

As we progressed through dinner I  begun to wonder how we as individuals and society as a whole can achieve this perfect balance where we strive to improve, have goals and work towards achievements whilst ensuring that we find value, satisfaction and happiness whit where we are.

Somewhere in my teenage years I begun working in non profits and have continued down that path, while striving to learn new things and progress professionally I also came up with a mission of my own, that I would positively impact the lives of 100,000 people is a way that was traceable and tangible based on my actions. As I near the completion of this goal I am unsure what the next move should be. The past 15 years have been a journey that is uniquely mine but as I cross this self created finish line I am starting to look for the next accomplishment and I wonder if I should instead be looking for the journey most suited to personal happiness and ultimately where that perfect balance can be achieved.












The TED talk that got my mind spinning

https://www.facebook.com/TED/photos/a.10152228735380652.917907.29092950651/10153907682320652/

The Why of Work: Communication

Off and on since September I have been on a journey reading and processing the book "The Why of Work" By Dave and Wendy Ulrich.

After quickly being captured by some startling research and time contemplating the section titled 'Leaders who focus on Meaning create an abundant response', I took a few weeks to think about the "Seven Questions that Drive Abundance". In this examination I am reviewing what the Ulrich's write on communication.

Four intreated points really stood out to me and feel so very applicable to the non profit sector:

A common finding from employee attitude surveys is that communication rates low: Employees often feel out of the loop about ideas leader think are well understood.  Leaders often find that they are continually thinking about ideas and within the non profit sector are developing these ideas with their boards and counterparts from other sectors that by the time the idea is launched the leader is so immersed in the concept and those who are part of the leadership team have heard it since inception there is frequently a lack of communication to those lower down in the organization.

A positive work environment is fostered by communication that is redundant, two way and affectively charged. The non profit sector attracts individuals who passionately care about the area of work. taking this passion and channeling it into positive communication among the team can be that extra lift an organization needs to bring its mission to the next level. Weekly staff meetings do not have to be a chore, they can become a platform for quality communication.

When a complex or new ideas are involved, it probably takes 10 units of communication for every unit of understanding. What? WOW! No wonder I spend so much time scratching my head thinking I told you this already. How do I build this level of redundancy into what I do? I have continually found myself in the position where I am leading change, developing and implementing new projects and pioneering new ideas. Thinking about some of those things that I am currently working on, perhaps I need to purposefully set for 10 individual units of communication with each person on the team. Its very much worth the experiment and if its successful I could save myself so much head scratching and time that I feel that is unsuccessful reiteration of a point I have already made.

Sony regularly encourages employees to offer suggestions for improvement and seeks to implement over 90% of the ideas. Incredible, going back to my prior point that the non profit sector attracts individuals who are passionate, imagine what it would look like if their suggestions for improvement were seriously sought after and implemented. Might the rate of failed non profits dramatically decline? Could the effectiveness of those that are marginal allow them to become something great. How can I as a mid level manager help my organization move this direction? Do I make a point to really hear the suggestions of others? Could their ideas cause me to achieve success that I am not even looking for?

The Why of Work: Attitude Toward Accountability

Accountability is such a critical piece of any organizations success. Often team loose sight of it and it has drastic consequences.






Dave and Wendy have a short section spanning a few pages that bring us some astute points that I wanted to capture and share.

All leaders and organizations should set clear goals and make practical plans. I have seen so often in my time in the non profit sector vague goals that have no measurement are dependent on outside factions that the organization has no control over. Equally as often I have seen goals that are impractical and are setting the organization and the employee up for failure.






Have clear, reasonable expectations and hold others accountable for results. People will come to trust that they can succeed.



When leaders shirk candid conversations about accountability, no system will work. Three simple phrases that a leader can use with talking about accountability that are game changers toward success
- Help me understand.
- The data is demonstrating
- ...so that we can solve the problem?












I worked at an organization that was very goal focused, every day at our team meetings we would set goals for ourselves. These goals were based on larger quarterly goals and were steps to keep us on track to meet these larger goals. During the day if one of us was not living up to our goal the team would discuss with that individual what the barriers to success were and work with them to identify how they were going to overcome that barrier to accomplish the daily goal they had set for themselves. Failing to meet ones daily goal was not seen as failure, the next day one would simply revise the goal incorporating the learning's from the previous days failings.

The Why of Work: 7 Questions

As my post at the end of September alluded I have been on a journey reading and processing the book "The Why of Work" By Dave and Wendy Ulrich. The Ulriches and the book have a web site: http://thewhyofwork.com/ . After quickly being captured by some startling research and time contemplating the section titled 'Leaders who focus on Meaning create an abundant response', I am now ready to think on the "Seven Questions that Drive Abundance"

1. What am I known For?  (identity) Research is showing that when we identify and regularly use our signature strengths life becomes more meaningful and satisfying. What makes me happy in the long run? At this juncture, challenge and success at work with the capacity to travel, explore and enjoy the opportunities life presents to me. What do I want to be know for? Someone who has the capacity and the energy to tackle and succeed with projects that are above my current capacity.

2. Where am I going? (motivation and purpose) leaders create purposeful organizations that help employees' personal ambitious match organizational goals.

3. Whom Do I Travel With? (Relationships and Teamwork)

4. How Do I Build a Positive Work Environment? (Effective Work Culture or Setting) 
- Promote good communication
-Development opportunities
- Pleasant physical facilities - This is something that the non profit sector struggles with. When operating on donor generosity it is often challenging to justify spending money on pleasant physical facilities. Things that have been successful and engaging for my volunteers while have little to no cost are things such as having a volunteer come in and decorate for the holidays, building boards that change and rearranging offices. In terms of employee moral, I would argue that its worth the $300 on a nice office chair is more than worth it when it makes your paid staff physically comfortable and will keep them working for you longer.
- Encourage self reflection

5. What Challenges Interest Me? (Personalized contributions)

6. How do I respond to Disposability and Change? (Growth, Learning and Resilience)

7. What delights me? (Civility and Happiness) Look for and rejoice in the different ways people find sweetness in life, going beyond civility to delight. Delight often comes in small packages. Today for example the catnip seed I ordered arrived and I was delighted by the small package =)

The Why of Work: Enrich the world

As my post at the end of September alluded I have been on a journey reading and processing the book "The Why of Work" By Dave and Wendy Ulrich. The Ulriches and the book even have a web site: http://thewhyofwork.com/ . After quickly being captured by some startling research I find myself contemplating the section titled 'Leaders who focus on Meaning create an abundant response'.

President Woodrow Wilson said "You are not here merely to make a living. you are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand"

The Wlriches write that... As humans and employees we engage in a search for meaning. As a leader many see this as a personal affair and that is a loss to not only the company but world.


 ...but perhaps we are too narrowly defining leaders. Leadership need not be confined to an executive suite. Every person in your company, management chain or organization has the capacity to enrich the world, its your role to create that opportunity regardless of where on the management chain you sit. Perhaps if we start to think of ourselves and those we work alongside and those we manage as leaders the above statement that leaders see the search for meaning as a personal affair can be altered where those who are not in the executive suite see their potential for leadership and the benefit to society if we work to create opportunities for those around us to enrich the world.


I am fortunate working in a social service organization that hope and vision not the paycheck is what drives those around me. My volunteers are the fulfillment of this concept and I merely need to ensure that they have the ongoing opportunity to lead projects, programs and each other to fulfill our service mission in the community.

The question I find myself pondering is how do I guide those around me to see their capacity and success in enriching the world. What process or activity do I need to persue to guide them to this realization? Is my guidance really needed? Would someone else be better suited for the role? Is everyone around me aware of their success in enriching the world and I am just looking for a new way to state the obvious?

The Why of Work

The Why of Work by David and Wendy Ulrich.

That question - the Why of Work, is one often easily answered in the non profit sector. Its a calling, a mission, a passion, a heart factor.

As I reflect on the sector and my experience in it all of these hold some truths, but when daily operations, and apathetic employees create poor performance across large portions of the non profit sector the why of work is the ideal question to be exploring.

The Ulrich's did not write the book for the non profit professional, it is aimed at those in upper mid management in a for profit environment, reading and reflecting on it has caused me great insight into ways that the sector struggles and ways that I can move my sphere of influence forward.

The first point that really captured me into the research of this book:
A Saratoga institute study found that 72 percent of employees who quit, leave because they feel they are not being recognized for their contributions or sufficiently respected and coached by their leaders.

- Wow, that is something that is very much in a leaders control. This has direct application to volunteer management and fostering and retaining great non profit employees.

In several of the organizations I have worked in those who had been in functionally the same role within the organization 5 or more years were often apathetic and complacent. In four different organizations I watch, highly talented, mission driven employees leave well before the 5 year mark. These individuals during personal conversations expressed feelings of overworked, taken advantage of, frustration at the lack of recognition and respect they deserved.

My take away from this is that I as a manager need to step up my recognition and coaching. Last year I hand wrote a card to each member of my team and distributed them at the holiday party, thanking them for their service. This year I have already set aside 1.5 hours each week to bring that recognition to the next level, I have set aside a portion of my budget to purchase small appreciation gifts to give with these notes and I plan to include an idea for a new years resolution focused on their development within our organization.

Combine calling with coaching and the potential to retain great members of your non profit workforce will improve.