discovering the way that I can be the best version of myself

Reflections are written and delayed posting not a reflection of current status, but a window into a past moment.

My tendency towards an unreserved highly passionate approach has a tendency to lead me to careers that consume me.

Over a decade ago one such career crashed and exploded around me in a way that at the time felt like the only option. It took me over two months to recover from that job and in the decade since I have been learning about how to care for myself; while allowing my high passion to continue.

Learning self-care was not instant and is far from over but I have made progress, and that commitment to continued learning is one of the habits leading to my highly passionate approach to discovering the way that I can be the best version of myself.

Things I need to reset:

- Unhindered sleep - no worries about not sleeping, sleeping too much or messing up my sleep schedule

- Quiet time

- Nothing

- Time with my spouse

- A clean house

- A bit of excitement, doing something like trying a new restaurant, going to a new part of town or a visit to the local movie theater

- Some basic exercise light yoga or a short walk

- Netflix and chill

- Going to the doctor and taking the time to focus on my health


With this reset, my balanced self begins to emerge. I know that version of me is arriving when I start to have, interest in reading, crafts, socializing, more intensive exercise, and somewhere in there a desire to create, express, learn, grow, expand and achieve.

Over the past few years, I haven't had enough of post-reset time to truly live as my balanced self.  It has been exciting to be so fully immersed, I thrived under the high demands, my highly passionate approach was thriving. Things began to change. I found that I crave the more balanced version of myself and started to actively exploring how to pull away from the constant demands just enough to give me more recovery time. I committed to going to the doctor and taking the time to focus on my health and have made the appointments. I have been taking PTO, not for any specific reason but because it is important to give me the rest. I am check-in in on myself to ensure I am resetting. I am tracking how long its been since I engaged in things I love like reading and creating. I am learning more about who I am and what I need.